Thread Detailing Why Babies Are Problematic Is Satirical Gold

Author image for Ada Elder
Ada Elder
Nov 21, 2019 11:00 AM EST

This isn't the first time there's been an amazing thread about why babies suck, but it is the first we've seen that's biting politicalsatire. Twitter user @ARTSHL3Y brought the heat with this thread that argues babies are shitty allies. It's hilarious because in this climate we can totally see someone arguing this seriously. Fortunately this tirade is tongue-in-cheek, and surprisinglyfunnyfor something written by a 17 year old. 

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  • 01
    Child - pink-haired freak @ARTSHL3Y 1/5 WHY BABIES ARE PROBLEMATIC (A THREAD)
    via @ARTSHL3Y
  • 02
    Text - frogshley @ARTSHL3Y 1) they remain SILENT on so many important issues. name ONE baby who has ever fought for lgbt or pOC rights.. that's what i thought you can't yер think of ANYTHING
    via @ARTSHL3Y
  • 03
    Text - frogshley @ARTSHL3Y 2) they are EXTREMELY toxic. they do nothing productive and just leech of the people around them. they are just pathetic freeloaders with a MASSIVE sense of entitlement
    via @ARTSHL3Y
  • 04
    Text - frogshley @ARTSHL3Y 3) they especially prey on women. women lose sleep, their own BODILY FLUIDS, and sanity all just for these misogynists. how are we still allowing and supporting this??
    via @ARTSHL3Y
  • 05
    Text - frogshley @ARTSHL3Y 4) they are manipulative. they start crying without warning and offer NO explanation for why. if they weren't toxic they would explain what they need but instead they want to play the victim and gaslight the people around them
    via @ARTSHL3Y
  • 06
    Text - nned Parentho Catie Weimer @WitchyNarcolep tandwith Replying to @ARTSH L3Y My baby gave me carpal tunnel in both wrists and is stealing my calcium supplies, 100% accurate.
    via @ARTSHL3Y
  • 07
    Text - laya (like layer) @layalovesya Replying to @ARTSH L3Y You forgot to mention they live RENT FREE in women's wombs for NINE MONTHS freaking squatters!!!! Smh! We should take them to court as soon as they get out of the womb for rent arrears!
    via @ARTSHL3Y
  • 08
    Text - wiley @urboywiley Replying to @ARTSH L3Y gerber baby is my unproblematic king 7:52 AM 5/10/19 Twitter for Android
    via @ARTSHL3Y
  • 09
    Text - Reg Guy @mactoid Replying to @ARTSH L3Y I've always thought that babies wax poetic on all the important issues and other bits of wisdom. Unfortunately they do not know a language (other than "baby"). By the time they learn one, they've forgotten their previous wisdom.
    via @ARTSHL3Y

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